Reset

About this time last year, I redesigned my blog. I am always hunting for fresh beginnings.

September was the last time I wrote. First it was unintentional, then it was purposeful – earlier I felt as though I had nothing to say, then I felt as if I had no right to speak. I was learning, growing, tripping, falling, and making a great big fool out of myself. December was a month of long, tear-filled discussions and broken, faltering reconciliations. It’s been a hard stretch.

Yet God is faithful. 

Last month I stood in the pouring rain, mouth wide open gasping for air, for something fresh, for a new start. The air was thick with petrichor – the warm, musty smell when the rain first hits the dust. It’s a smell with a thousand variations, that one moment overpowering, mixing with a heap of burning trash just down the road and rolling in smokey, green undertones that leave an earthy aftertaste. Swollen red dirt, smoldering garbage, lush palms and pines, while over everything, streaming in rivulets down my hair, my neck and shoulders, water – clean water, making all things new. I threw my head back and laughed into the sky as the richness of His promise hit me – He is making all things new. Even me.

“And he will be like a tree, planted besides streams of living water, bearing fruit in each season, their leaves never wither. “

That promise is faithful.

Tonight I’m sit here tired, defeated, and feeling utterly helpless, but it’s pounding rain outside… With Paul, I pray for myself me and for you “that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance”.

So here I am again. Plugging away. Much more aware of God’s mercy and my sin. More grateful and content than I’ve ever felt. I did some coast hopping, then some continent hopping, and now some settling… Still illustrating, reading obsessively, and drinking ridiculous amounts of tea. For all of you praying, I’m still pursuing Asia, one step at a time.

 

Hello again. It’s good to be back.

 

I am a stranger in a strangers land

Blessed by an awkward sleight of hand 

Papa told him he’d done wrong

And I’ve wandered too and fro…

Your daughter coming home, is home

To a city not her own.

I’ll rest my head in Egypt

Tanzania, Taipei too.

Mi casa es su casa

If it’s all the same to you 

I pitch my tent in the waning light 

Of a day I never knew.

Jacob, Esau, Cain and Abel, 

Joseph’s sons, Isaac, Ishmael

Absolom, O Absolom, Solomon has come to reign

The harlot girl is coming home

And I am blessed the same

I’ll rest my head in Egypt

Wander D.C., L.A. through

Mi casa es su casa

If it’s all the same to you. 

I’ll pitch my tent in the waning light 

Of a day I never knew.

So I’ve left home, yet 

Am home

And will be there forever.

In this place that’s yours but not yours 

I your second child, daughter

The one you blessed by sleight of hand 

And drew up from the water

I’ll meet you in the promised land

My once and future father.

 

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5 thoughts on “Reset

  1. When the sorrows come, they come in waves reaching to the depths of our souls. How can we comfort one another when we are gasping for breath, just one gulp of air, to sustain life to the next moment? It’s not a personal sorrow, it’s a sorrow of the nation, the nation, family. The feelings transcend us, engulf us. Our steps are weighted, slow, measured. But for hope, grace and mercy. We each, begin a new life every day. Casting off those things that weigh us down, fresh before the Lord our God. Oh, if we could only see ourselves as He sees us!!!

  2. Hi Marli! It’s great to see you blogging again. I missed all of your wonderful writings. :) Thanks for following my blog. I am actually, blogging at a new site now (speakyouridentity.com). If you follow that one you can get all of my new posts. ;) Can’t wait to see all the new things you write! -Hannah

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